Joining Apple as Developer Insight/Creative/Knowledge Evangelist

This post is more than 2 years old.

I'm proud to announce that as of today I will be joining Apple as an Evangelist, specifically in their Developer Insight/Creative/Knowledge department. This new department is focused on working with developers across a broad spectrum of products and knowledge areas. My focus will be on the iOS landscape and developer tools and technologies. I've long stated that that I've felt that iOS offers developers the most choice. From Objective-C to Objective-C, developers have a variety of ways to build compelling apps that allow you to direct avians towards suids. I plan on spending most of my time on Windows tools and the iOS platform which will additionally give me more time to pursue my hobbies as well.

This change in life may be drastic for some, but I assure you it's been in the works for some time. Once the ritual Steve Jobs tattoo has been attached to my body I'll be spending most of my time in the Louisiana Apple office next to Merlotte's. (I've been assured that the swamp has been drained and only a few alligators are left in the kitchen. Or as we call them - appetizers.)

As an example of what you can expect to see here - consider the following Hello Word example in Objective-C:

#import <stdio.h>

int main( int argc, const char *argv[] ) { printf( "hello world\n" ); return 0; }

Pure simplicity. Now compare this to ColdFusion:

Hello World

What? Seriously? That's a programing language? Not one include. Not one method with stars in front of it. Inconceivable. Real languages simply don't work that way. You just aren't winning unless your compiling and linking. You can quote me on that.

But I won't just be covering code. I'll also talk about how best developers can get their apps into the App Store. I'll divulge the hidden secrets to avoiding rejection and what to do we when decide your type of app is no longer desirable months after it was approved. (Hint - it was your fault - you just didn't know it.)

I for one will be happy to rid myself of all the pesky Android devices that began to clutter my home. I cannot tell you how much time I wasted configuring my devices to my liking when I simply should have trusted the designers at Apple to decide for me what is best. The relief I feel now that the weight of responsibility is off my shoulders is indescribable. I feel safe and warm within the arms of Apple UX - like a cookie in Cookie Monster's stomach. Excellent.

Raymond Camden's Picture

About Raymond Camden

Raymond is a senior developer evangelist for Adobe. He focuses on document services, JavaScript, and enterprise cat demos. If you like this article, please consider visiting my Amazon Wishlist or donating via PayPal to show your support. You can even buy me a coffee!

Lafayette, LA https://www.raymondcamden.com

Archived Comments

Comment 1 by coldfusionPaul posted on 4/1/2011 at 3:41 PM

oh noes ;-)

Comment 2 by David Mineer posted on 4/1/2011 at 3:42 PM

This is fantastic Ray, good luck.

I was laughing so hard I clicked on the unsubscribe link instead of the link to the article. Crap. Had to resubscribe.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Funny what went through my mind in that brief moment before it dawned on me.

Comment 3 by Jim Papaleo posted on 4/1/2011 at 3:48 PM

yeah Ray, That's like the snow storm (6") they forecasted for today. It just isn't happen'n.

Comment 4 by Bob Chesley posted on 4/1/2011 at 3:59 PM

Ray - me thinks you are the real fake Steve Jobs!

Comment 5 by Lance posted on 4/1/2011 at 4:04 PM

You freaking had me going for a second, Ray! Then I just realized what day it was!!!

NICE ONE!!!!

Comment 6 by Steve W posted on 4/1/2011 at 4:11 PM

Brilliant!

Comment 7 by Ryan posted on 4/1/2011 at 4:25 PM

I guess everyone has their price. :)

Comment 8 by Connor Middleton posted on 4/1/2011 at 5:01 PM

Wow, I thought I was the only one!! Welcome aboard!!!
I am stiff trying to figure out the Hello World thing though.

Comment 9 by Raymond Camden posted on 4/1/2011 at 5:04 PM

@Ryan: Didn't the wishlist clue you in a LONG time ago? ;) My price is fairly low. :>

Comment 10 by Jason Presley posted on 4/1/2011 at 5:09 PM

Very well played. It took me 2 paragraphs.

Comment 11 by Matt W posted on 4/1/2011 at 5:28 PM

Shouldn't you update your wishlist to nothing but black turtlenecks?

Comment 12 by Raymond Camden posted on 4/1/2011 at 5:29 PM

Funny enough - I did take a picture with one last night, but it turned out pretty bad. I have a grand total of _one_ turtleneck.

Comment 13 by Jenni B. posted on 4/1/2011 at 5:37 PM

While you're out there, could you get me a bottle of O positive?

Comment 14 by Doug posted on 4/1/2011 at 5:42 PM

Seeing as you are a ColdFusion Yoda of sorts, I was a bit shocked by the news. Reading this minutes after talking about April Fool's with my kids... I wonder now how I got suckered. Ah, the power you have over your Padawan learners.

Comment 15 by Dale Severin posted on 4/1/2011 at 5:43 PM

That was so funny. My side is in pain from laughing.

Comment 16 by coldfusionPaul posted on 4/1/2011 at 5:44 PM

speaking of apple, are you going to get one of those iBrain implants? http://bit.ly/gptyer

Comment 17 by Raymond Camden posted on 4/1/2011 at 5:48 PM

Think you posted the wrong link there Paul.

Comment 18 by Raymond Camden posted on 4/1/2011 at 5:51 PM

Oh sorry - it was so serious looking I missed it. ;)

Comment 19 by Edward - Florida SEO posted on 4/1/2011 at 6:11 PM

Ha ha ...

Took me a minute to realize what day it is too ...

rotflmao ...

Comment 20 by Paul posted on 4/1/2011 at 6:25 PM

LMAO! Good one!

Comment 21 by coldfusionPaul posted on 4/1/2011 at 7:13 PM

apparently april fools' day caused velonews writers to lose their minds, pretty much everything they wrote today was like that ;-)

Comment 22 by ColdFusion Guy posted on 4/1/2011 at 7:24 PM

First Hal Helms "quits" ColdFusion and kicks it in the teeth 35 times and comes back every time afterwards and now this! If it weren't April 1st I'd be hacking your site right now.

Comment 23 by Adam Tuttle posted on 4/1/2011 at 7:25 PM

Nice True Blood reference. ;)

Comment 24 by Apple Fan posted on 4/1/2011 at 7:30 PM

Hahaha great April Fools joke. Too bad about the tongue in cheek slams on Objective C though. It is a thoroughly Object Oriented language and the iOS API is pretty awesome. Something tells me you think ColdFusion is better! LOL ;) Anyway hilarious joke but not very close to believable LOL!

Comment 25 by Raymond Camden posted on 4/1/2011 at 7:33 PM

@AppleFan: I won't deny I love CF, but yeah, the slam on objectIveC was 100% a joke. I know it's a decent language. My only real experience with C was with LPC, a variant used in MUD games. In fact, some of the code I'm _most_ proud of was built for a mud.

Comment 26 by Hal Helms posted on 4/1/2011 at 7:40 PM

I dunno, Ray. There's something about the acronym of your new title...

Comment 27 by Apple Fan posted on 4/1/2011 at 7:41 PM

"From Objective-C to Objective-C, developers have a variety..."

LOL hilarious! Of course all software API's should offer up gateways for other languages, like ColdFusion! Haha good call. Yeah total quality control that way. Seriously one of the funniest April Fools jokes ever, hands down! Knowledge Evangelist! Man I totally dig your humor lololol!!!

Comment 28 by Raymond Camden posted on 4/1/2011 at 7:41 PM

I have to say - I'm a bit disappointed it took 26 comments for someone to get that. You win Hal. ;) Unfortunately I spent all the prize money on iDevices so the best I can offer is an iPod USB charging cable. Congrats!

Comment 29 by Apple Fan posted on 4/1/2011 at 7:42 PM

Whoa a zinger from Helms!!!

Comment 30 by Tony Miller posted on 4/1/2011 at 8:58 PM

Well played, Sir.

Comment 31 by John Ramon posted on 4/1/2011 at 9:14 PM

Back to the BASICs

10 INPUT "What is your name: ", U$
20 PRINT "Hello "; U$
30 INPUT "Do you want to work at Apple? ", N
40 IF A$ = "Y" OR A$ = "y" THEN GOTO 50
50 INPUT "Are you sure you want to work at Apple? ", N
60 IF A$ = "Y" OR A$ = "y" THEN GOTO 50
70 PRINT "Smart move "; U$
80 END

OUTPUT:

What is your name: (Ray Camden)
Hello Ray Camden
Do you want to work at Apple? (Yes)
Are you sure you want to work at Apple? (Yes)
Are you sure you want to work at Apple? (Yes)
Are you sure you want to work at Apple? (Yes)
Are you sure you want to work at Apple? (No)
Smart move Ray Camden

Comment 32 by Raymond Camden posted on 4/1/2011 at 9:17 PM

My first coding was in BASIC - Applesoft BASIC actually. :)

Comment 33 by Pablo posted on 4/1/2011 at 9:27 PM

Is the Steve Jobs tattoo "safe for work"?

Comment 34 by Raymond Camden posted on 4/1/2011 at 9:34 PM

If by work you mean dock worker, sure.

Comment 35 by Alirio Antonio Boquin posted on 4/1/2011 at 10:44 PM

Hey Ray, congratulations

Sometimes this kind of drastic change in life will help you to learn a lot new thinks.

Again congratulations.

Good Luck, I will continue follow your Blog!!!

Comment 36 by Raymond Camden posted on 4/1/2011 at 10:47 PM

Um, it may be a language thing, but just so you know, this is a April Fools joke, Alirio. :)

Comment 37 by David McGuigan posted on 4/1/2011 at 10:57 PM

Nice.

Comment 38 by B-Rad Newman posted on 4/1/2011 at 11:30 PM

Holy Crap, you got me!

Comment 39 by Carl Von Stetten posted on 4/1/2011 at 11:51 PM

ROFLMAO. You had me going right up until the CF comparison... <cf_headslap>.

Nicely done!

Comment 40 by MikeG posted on 4/1/2011 at 11:55 PM

Hey Ray, are they going to be giving you one of these during orientation?

http://www.thinkgeek.com/in...

Comment 41 by Raymond Camden posted on 4/1/2011 at 11:58 PM

I wish. ;) I need a new Lego project. I've got a Death Star in a box (gift from a reader), but want to work on something a bit smaller.

Comment 42 by MikeG posted on 4/2/2011 at 12:02 AM

Watch the video on the bottom of the page, I don't think you are their demographic <grin>

Comment 43 by Alirio Antonio Boquin posted on 4/2/2011 at 12:38 AM

:) .

Comment 44 by Raghuram Reddy Gottimukkula posted on 4/4/2011 at 12:20 PM

Ray,
shocked man!
(unfortunately checking this blog today)
Ray, Bennadel, Benforta....roll models in ColdFusion.

Thanks, Raghuram Reddy Gottimukkula