<cfloop collection="#cfUnitedActivities#" item="activity">
<cfswitch expression="#activity#">
<cfdefaultcase>
<cfset doDrinkBeer() />
</cfdefaultcase>
</cfswitch>
</cfloop>

<cfif #cgi.HTTP_USER_AGENT# neq "iPhone">
<!-- embed SuperAwesomeWelcomeMessageThatWillBlowYourMind.swf here---->
<cfelse>
<!-- dull welcome message here---->
Welcome.
</cfif>

Ray, does this have to be true legit code? Or can it be something made up (no, I don't really have a custom tag for this), for example, <cf_united> ?

My First Submission:

<cfimage source="images/j0439239.jpg" name="myImage">
<!--- Set the background color to green. --->
<cfset ImageSetBackgroundColor(myImage,"green")>
<!--- Draw four rectangles in the background color. --->
<cfoutput>
<cfloop from="1" to="100" index="i" step="9">
<cfset ImageClearRect(myImage,#i#,#i#,#i#,#i#)>
</cfloop>
</cfoutput>
<!--- Save the modified ColdFusion image to a file. --->
<cfimage source="#myImage#" action="write" destination="test_myImage.jpeg" overwrite="yes">
<!--- Display the source image and the new image. --->
<img src="images/j0439239.jpg">
<img src="test_myImage.jpeg">

<cfscript>
SpaDay = StructNew();
StructInsert(SpaDay, "massage", FORM.massagetime);
StructInsert(SpaDay, "hottub", FORM.soaktime);
StructInsert(SpaDay, "drink", FORM.drink);
</cfscript>

@Steve: It can be made up.

<cfif CGI.HTTP_USER_AGENT CONTAINS ListFindNoCase('iphone,Windows CE,NetFront,Palm OS,Blazer,Elaine,WAP,Plucker,Avantgo')>
<!---Mobile Browsers! Disable any Javascript or if using any Frames Break Out from Frames--->
<cfelse>
<!---Move On--->
</cfif>

<cffunction method="gotoCFUnited">
<cfargument name="learnMuch" default="true">
<cfargument name="haveFun" default="true">
<cfif learnMuch AND haveFun>
<cfset session.start = "7/28/2010">
<cfset session.end = "7/31/2010">
<cflocation url="LansdowneResort.cfm">
</cfif>
</cffunction>

<CFUNITED
rev = 2010
what = "A ColdFusion, Flex & AIR Conference"
where = "Lansdowne Resort & Conference Center"
when = "Wednesday 7/28/2010, Thursday 7/29/2010, Friday 7/30/2010, Saturday 7/31/2010"
/>

<cfif application is CF>
coding="efficient,rapid"
<cfelse>
coding.time = coding.time * 2
</cfif>

function cfObjective(me) {
var betterMe=arrayNew(1);
arrayappend(betterMe,getSessions(me));
arrayappend(betterMe,getSocial(me));
return betterMe;
}

request.setEvent('CFUnited 2010');

CFUnited.get2010().isAttendee(true);

<cfif you.said="Coldfusion is dead">
<cfset my.response = mid("COLDFUSION", 5, 2)>
</cfif>

<cfset submission = "The Bad Programming Language! All the way PHP Coding. Try CFM">
<cfif FindNoCase("PHP",submission)>
<cfoutput>
Project Completion date: <strong>Never</strong>
</cfoutput>
<cfelseif FindNoCase("CFM",submission)>
<cfoutput>
Project Completed: <strong>Just Now</strong>
</cfoutput>
</cfif>

<cfset lyric = "">
<cfloop condition="lyric neq 'Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you'">
<cfswitch expression="#lyric#">
<cfcase value="">
<cfset lyric = "Never gonna give you up">
</cfcase>
<cfcase value="Never gonna give you up">
<cfset lyric = "Never gonna let you down">
</cfcase>
<cfcase value="Never gonna let you down">
<cfset lyric = "Never gonna run around and desert you">
</cfcase>
<cfcase value="Never gonna run around and desert you">
<cfset lyric = "Never gonna make you cry">
</cfcase>
<cfcase value="Never gonna make you cry">
<cfset lyric = "Never gonna say goodbye">
</cfcase>
<cfcase value="Never gonna say goodbye">
<cfset lyric = "Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you">
</cfcase>
</cfswitch>
<cfoutput>#lyric#<br /></cfoutput>
</cfloop>

Jonah, nice!

<cfset shirt = structNew()>
<cfset shirt.mainContents = "CF Geek">
<cfif hour(now()) gt 8 AND hour(now()) lt 17>
<cfset shirt.additionalContents = "Knowledge">
<cfelse>
<cfset shirt.additionalContents = "Beer">
</cfif>
<cfdump var="#shirt#">

Like Zach's but less code:

<cfset Lyric = "give you up, let you down, run around and desert you, make you cry, say goodbye, tell a lie and hurt you" />
<cfoutput>
<cfloop list="#Lyric#" index="i">
Never gonna #i#<br />
</cfloop>
</cfoutput>

Ryan,
The list will defiantly fit on a shirt better.

I was going for the over programmed approach... LOL

<CF_highFive(Jonah)>

Sadly, I may not be able to make the conference, but I hope it's OK to submit my made up code anyway.

<cfunited year="2010" result="awesome">
<cfset who = setCoolPeople("me") />
<cfset what = "CF" + "Flex" + "AIR"/>
<cfset where = "Virginia"/>
</cfunited>

... or some variation of the above that fits on a shirt.

A second entry (is that allowed?)

<cf_United action="learn" list="ColdFusion,Flex,AIR" />

<cf_United action="meet" list="Ray,Bob,Joe,Dan,Dee,etc" />

<cf_United action="consume" list="knowledge,food,beer" />

<cf_United action="leave" list="prepared,smarter,connected" />

<cfif isUnited() EQ TRUE>
<cfreturn awesome />
<cfelse>
<cfreturn epic.fail() />
</cfif>

Ok, here's my submission. The first tag should go at the top of the shirt just under the collar. The second tag should go at the very bottom of the shirt.

<cffeed>

<cfflush>

*You can also have an optional <cfdump> tag on the back at the bottom.

:)

Submission A)
<cfif (do)>
<!--- You either do... --->
<cfelseif (Not(do))>
<!--- or don't do... --->
<cfelse>
<cfthrow detail="There is no CFTRY" />
</cfif>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Submission B)
There's no place like <cflocation url="/home.cfm" />

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Submission C)
<cfloop condition="myKnowledge LT 'proficient'">
attendMore_CFUnited_Sessions();
</cfloop>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Submission D)
<cfif (myLanguage EQ CF) AND (amAttendingCFUNited EQ true)>
<cfoutput>I'm a CFGenius!</cfoutput>
</cfif>

<cfloop list="brainstorm,learn,eat,drinkBeer" index="i">
<cfif NOT idontLikeThisPart(i)>
<cfset doAction(i)/>
</cfif>
</cfloop>

<cfexecute> or <cfabort>. There is no <cftry>.

http://images9.cpcache.com/...

Second submission. Consider this a 50,000 ft view of code
Top of shirt: <CFDOES>
Bottom of shirt: </CFDOES>, but crossed out (indicating thre is no end to what CF Does.

Then between the tags, find that page from Mike Nimer's? Presentation from years back that has the little clouds in it with every protocol, service, API and Stub you can think of in it (updated for today)

<cfset cfunited = EntityLoad('me') />
<cfset cfunited.setLearning('100%') />
<cfset cfunited.setNetworking('True') />
<cfset cfunited.setFun('Always') />
<cfset EntitySave(cfunited) />

optional:
<cfset cfunited.setBeer('consumed') />

<cfset CFUnited2010 = StructNew() />
<cfset CFUnited2010.track_CF = "Kewl" />
<cfset CFUnited2010.track_Flex = "Also Kewl" />
<cfset CFUnited2010.track_AIR = "Also Also Kewl" />
<cfset CFUnited2010.sciFi_BOF = "Rocks!" />
<cfset CFUnited2010.meAttending = "Awesome!" />
<cfset CFUnited2010.whereHeld = "The Lansdowne" />
<cfset CFUnited2010.startDate = "07/28/2010" />
<cfset CFUnited2010.endDate = "07/31/2010" />

I swear I thought of this one before Joshua Cyr posted his!

conference = entityNew( "Conference" );
conference.setName( "CFUnited" );
conference.setLearning( true );
conference.setNetworking( true );
conference.setFun( "Hell Yeah!" );
entitySave( conference );

<cfif event.conference eq "cfunited">
<cftransaction>
<cfset money = "well spent" />
</cftransaction>
<cfelse>
<cfreturn tickets />
</cfif>

<cfquery name="CFUnited2010">
SELECT *
FROM Knowledge
WHERE greatIdea IS NULL
</cfquery>

0 records returned

A mock up of what the t-shirt would look like:
http://tinyurl.com/24sgcb3

Here is one that is more CFML general:

<cfquery datasource="CFML">
SELECT *
FROM CF, Others
WHERE Others.easy > CF.easy
OR Others.power > CF.power
</cfquery>

0 records returned

Image of proposed t-shirt: http://tinyurl.com/283q69m

I just realized I really need one more join in the above query to make it valid..

Too much <CF_ALE> oh well.

<awesome>
CFUnited 2010
</awesome>

Nice Jonah.

<!--- lame code here --->

<!--- Set your awesomenesss --->
<cfset CFUNITED_2010="Awesome">
<!--- Check to see if your awesomeness matches that of CFUNITED --->
<cfif IsDefined("URL.CFUNITED_2010_Attendance")
AND CFUNITED_2010 IS URL.CFUNITED_2010_Attendance>
<!--- You are attending, Awesome! You Rock! --->
\m/ (>.<) \m/
<cfelse>
<!--- You are not attending. Your loss! --->
.!. (0_0) .!.
</cfif>

<cf_zombie
action="create"
method="raiseDead"
count="1000"
say="Brrrraaainnnssss!"
/>

CFUNITED 2010

<cffinal />

Or, alternately:

<cffinal>
CFUNITED 2010
</cffinal>

Could do something simple like:
</cf_is_dead>

though, I see more people clinging to the fact CF is still alive, then claiming it was ever dead.
Or you could do something like:
<cfcomponent
extends="Adobe.Education.ColdFusion"
displayname="CFUnited 2010"
hint="A ColdFusion, Flex & AIR Conference"
output="Yes">
<cffunction name="Attend" returntype="Geek" access="public">
...
</cffunction>
</cfcomponent>

---

<cfset CFUNITED_2010="Your Destination">

<cfif lang eq 'PHP'>
<cfoutput>ID10T</cfoutput>
</cfif>

Short for a shirt. Tried to make it legible. Correct any syntax:)

component hint="ColdFusion" {

public CFUnited function init (

Year = 2010,
Status = "Better than ever.",
Tags = Optional,
Speed = Fast,
Future = Strong
) }

Darn image wrap!

<cffunction name="CFUnited"
Hint="July 27-30 2010 Lansdowne VA">
<cfset GrandFinale(true)>
<cfreturn "Smarter" >
</cffunction/>

<CFUNITED>
WORLD DOMINATION
</CFUNITED>

In light of this being the last CFUnited, and the fact that people who disappeared long before this want to convince people that this means ColdFusion is dead [again ho hum], I want a t-shirt that says

"WE are the new <cfdawn>!"

<cfscript>
while ( not isDead() ) { codeWithColdFusion(); };
</cfscript>

Since this is the last one, maybe just

</cfunited>

<cfunited>
"CFUnited is the premier ColdFusion specific conference"
<B.Forta>
-- 1999-2010 --
</cfunited>

<cfinvokeargument name="ColdFusion" value="Rocks!" />

<cflocation url="http://cfunited.com/" />

You should really addtoken="false" so you don't send your session id's but that might not be necessary for the tshirt ;-)

I know this won't win...but kinda had to do it...

<cfif findNoCase('halhelms.com', cgi.http_referer)>
<cflocation url="http://www.rubyonrails.com" addtoken="false" />
<cfelse>
<cflocation url="http://www.cfunited.com" addtoken="false" />
</cfif>

Don't ask where that semicolon came from...I couldn't tell you.

<cfunited 2010>
<cfset memories = "friends, laughing, learning, coding,
teaching, sharing, CF Never Ending" />
</cfunited 2010>

<cfunited from="1999" to="2010" />

I like #25 from Eric. Filed for future use.

And we have our winners. Remember this was purely my decision, and I'm sure folks will disagree. However, as this is a dictatorship, there isn't much you can do about it. ;)

So for 2nd and 3rd place, I pick both Ryan V and Zach B for their Rick Astley inspired submissions.

However - I could not pass up #28 from Matt G:

<cfexecute> or <cfabort>. There is no <cftry>.

Gigi had one similar - but I preferred Matt G.

So... that's our winner! Thank you everyone!

Fun contest, thanks!!! And a good winner, congrats!

Thank you Ray for offering the fun contest. Congratulations to Matt G and the other winners ;)

LOL - it figures THAT one would be the one that appealed to you most, O CF JediMaster! Congrats to Matt and the other winners!

I totally want that t-shirt.

What does second place win? Maybe a copy of your CF anthology signed ;)

2nd and 3rd get 200 off the ticket price. You'd have to talk to Dinowitz to get a copy of the Anthology. :)

Thanks, Ray and everyone! I knew that t-shirt idea would come in handy one of these years!!

It's a late entry...

<cfset Joke.fail() />

<cf_uknighted> in 2010

King Arthur theme. "knighted" in italics to distinguish.
Perhaps include a pic of a shield with the ColdFusion bolt on it.

My toilet app:
<cfdump>
<cflog>
<cfflush>

(CF, the most intuitive language on the planet)