CFUNITED T-Shirt Contest!

This post is more than 2 years old.

Let's be honest. The most important aspect of a conference isn't location, speakers, sessions, or dare I say it, food, but rather the t-shirt you go home with. This year CFUNITED is looking to the community for help in designing the 2010 conference tee shirt. All you need to do is come up with a snazzy, funny, coy, etc bit of CFML code to put on the front of the shirt. As an example, a few years back a company produced a set of beer glasses with some <cf_beer> code printed on it. Your code should be similar. Remember it has to fit on the front of a shirt so keep it short and sweet.

There will be a first, second, and third place winner. The first place winner will get 50% off their ticket to CFUNITED and their code printed on the official conference tee shirt. The second and third place winner will both get $200 off the ticket price.

To enter, simply post your entry as a comment below. I'll be picking winners Friday at the end of business.

As a reminder, CFUNITED is coming soon. You have 28 days left to register. Myself, and many other community members, will be speaking on a variety of topics. Register now!

Raymond Camden's Picture

About Raymond Camden

Raymond is a senior developer evangelist for Adobe. He focuses on document services, JavaScript, and enterprise cat demos. If you like this article, please consider visiting my Amazon Wishlist or donating via PayPal to show your support. You can even buy me a coffee!

Lafayette, LA

Archived Comments

Comment 1 by TJ Downes posted on 6/29/2010 at 9:20 PM

<cfloop collection="#cfUnitedActivities#" item="activity">
<cfswitch expression="#activity#">
<cfset doDrinkBeer() />

Comment 2 by Zach Barrett posted on 6/29/2010 at 9:44 PM

<cfif #cgi.HTTP_USER_AGENT# neq "iPhone">
<!-- embed SuperAwesomeWelcomeMessageThatWillBlowYourMind.swf here---->
<!-- dull welcome message here---->

Comment 3 by Steve posted on 6/29/2010 at 9:45 PM

Ray, does this have to be true legit code? Or can it be something made up (no, I don't really have a custom tag for this), for example, <cf_united> ?

Comment 4 by Misty posted on 6/29/2010 at 9:45 PM

My First Submission:

<cfimage source="images/j0439239.jpg" name="myImage">
<!--- Set the background color to green. --->
<cfset ImageSetBackgroundColor(myImage,"green")>
<!--- Draw four rectangles in the background color. --->
<cfloop from="1" to="100" index="i" step="9">
<cfset ImageClearRect(myImage,#i#,#i#,#i#,#i#)>
<!--- Save the modified ColdFusion image to a file. --->
<cfimage source="#myImage#" action="write" destination="test_myImage.jpeg" overwrite="yes">
<!--- Display the source image and the new image. --->
<img src="images/j0439239.jpg">
<img src="test_myImage.jpeg">

Comment 5 by Jenni B. posted on 6/29/2010 at 9:48 PM

SpaDay = StructNew();
StructInsert(SpaDay, "massage", FORM.massagetime);
StructInsert(SpaDay, "hottub", FORM.soaktime);
StructInsert(SpaDay, "drink", FORM.drink);

Comment 6 by Raymond Camden posted on 6/29/2010 at 9:51 PM

@Steve: It can be made up.

Comment 7 by Gary posted on 6/29/2010 at 9:51 PM

<cfif CGI.HTTP_USER_AGENT CONTAINS ListFindNoCase('iphone,Windows CE,NetFront,Palm OS,Blazer,Elaine,WAP,Plucker,Avantgo')>
<!---Mobile Browsers! Disable any Javascript or if using any Frames Break Out from Frames--->
<!---Move On--->

Comment 8 by Matt W posted on 6/29/2010 at 9:51 PM

<cffunction method="gotoCFUnited">
<cfargument name="learnMuch" default="true">
<cfargument name="haveFun" default="true">
<cfif learnMuch AND haveFun>
<cfset session.start = "7/28/2010">
<cfset session.end = "7/31/2010">
<cflocation url="LansdowneResort.cfm">

Comment 9 by Yancy Wharton posted on 6/29/2010 at 9:53 PM

rev = 2010
what = "A ColdFusion, Flex & AIR Conference"
where = "Lansdowne Resort & Conference Center"
when = "Wednesday 7/28/2010, Thursday 7/29/2010, Friday 7/30/2010, Saturday 7/31/2010"

Comment 10 by James Edmunds posted on 6/29/2010 at 9:56 PM

<cfif application is CF>
coding.time = coding.time * 2

Comment 11 by MikeG posted on 6/29/2010 at 10:07 PM

function cfObjective(me) {
var betterMe=arrayNew(1);
return betterMe;

Comment 12 by Matt Gifford posted on 6/29/2010 at 10:09 PM

request.setEvent('CFUnited 2010');

Comment 13 by Matt Gifford posted on 6/29/2010 at 10:11 PM


Comment 14 by Jonah Chanticleer posted on 6/29/2010 at 10:12 PM

<cfif you.said="Coldfusion is dead">
<cfset my.response = mid("COLDFUSION", 5, 2)>

Comment 15 by Gurpreet posted on 6/29/2010 at 10:13 PM

<cfset submission = "The Bad Programming Language! All the way PHP Coding. Try CFM">
<cfif FindNoCase("PHP",submission)>
Project Completion date: <strong>Never</strong>
<cfelseif FindNoCase("CFM",submission)>
Project Completed: <strong>Just Now</strong>

Comment 16 by Zach Barrett posted on 6/29/2010 at 10:34 PM

<cfset lyric = "">
<cfloop condition="lyric neq 'Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you'">
<cfswitch expression="#lyric#">
<cfcase value="">
<cfset lyric = "Never gonna give you up">
<cfcase value="Never gonna give you up">
<cfset lyric = "Never gonna let you down">
<cfcase value="Never gonna let you down">
<cfset lyric = "Never gonna run around and desert you">
<cfcase value="Never gonna run around and desert you">
<cfset lyric = "Never gonna make you cry">
<cfcase value="Never gonna make you cry">
<cfset lyric = "Never gonna say goodbye">
<cfcase value="Never gonna say goodbye">
<cfset lyric = "Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you">
<cfoutput>#lyric#<br /></cfoutput>

Comment 17 by TJ Downes posted on 6/29/2010 at 10:34 PM

Jonah, nice!

Comment 18 by Scott Wolf posted on 6/29/2010 at 10:37 PM

<cfset shirt = structNew()>
<cfset shirt.mainContents = "CF Geek">
<cfif hour(now()) gt 8 AND hour(now()) lt 17>
<cfset shirt.additionalContents = "Knowledge">
<cfset shirt.additionalContents = "Beer">
<cfdump var="#shirt#">

Comment 19 by Ryan Vikander posted on 6/29/2010 at 10:42 PM

Like Zach's but less code:

<cfset Lyric = "give you up, let you down, run around and desert you, make you cry, say goodbye, tell a lie and hurt you" />
<cfloop list="#Lyric#" index="i">
Never gonna #i#<br />

Comment 20 by Zach Barrett posted on 6/29/2010 at 10:52 PM

The list will defiantly fit on a shirt better.

I was going for the over programmed approach... LOL

Comment 21 by Jenni B. posted on 6/29/2010 at 10:53 PM


Comment 22 by Corey Butler posted on 6/29/2010 at 11:16 PM

Sadly, I may not be able to make the conference, but I hope it's OK to submit my made up code anyway.

<cfunited year="2010" result="awesome">
<cfset who = setCoolPeople("me") />
<cfset what = "CF" + "Flex" + "AIR"/>
<cfset where = "Virginia"/>

... or some variation of the above that fits on a shirt.

Comment 23 by Matt W posted on 6/29/2010 at 11:19 PM

A second entry (is that allowed?)

<cf_United action="learn" list="ColdFusion,Flex,AIR" />

<cf_United action="meet" list="Ray,Bob,Joe,Dan,Dee,etc" />

<cf_United action="consume" list="knowledge,food,beer" />

<cf_United action="leave" list="prepared,smarter,connected" />

Comment 24 by Faisal Abid posted on 6/29/2010 at 11:50 PM

<cfif isUnited() EQ TRUE>
<cfreturn awesome />
<cfreturn />

Comment 25 by Eric Cobb posted on 6/30/2010 at 12:03 AM

Ok, here's my submission. The first tag should go at the top of the shirt just under the collar. The second tag should go at the very bottom of the shirt.



*You can also have an optional <cfdump> tag on the back at the bottom.


Comment 26 by Gigi posted on 6/30/2010 at 1:20 AM

Submission A)
<cfif (do)>
<!--- You either do... --->
<cfelseif (Not(do))>
<!--- or don't do... --->
<cfthrow detail="There is no CFTRY" />

Submission B)
There's no place like <cflocation url="/home.cfm" />

Submission C)
<cfloop condition="myKnowledge LT 'proficient'">

Submission D)
<cfif (myLanguage EQ CF) AND (amAttendingCFUNited EQ true)>
<cfoutput>I'm a CFGenius!</cfoutput>

Comment 27 by shakti posted on 6/30/2010 at 1:29 AM

<cfloop list="brainstorm,learn,eat,drinkBeer" index="i">
<cfif NOT idontLikeThisPart(i)>
<cfset doAction(i)/>

Comment 28 by Matt Gersting posted on 6/30/2010 at 1:32 AM

<cfexecute> or <cfabort>. There is no <cftry>.

Comment 29 by MikeG posted on 6/30/2010 at 1:53 AM

Second submission. Consider this a 50,000 ft view of code
Top of shirt: <CFDOES>
Bottom of shirt: </CFDOES>, but crossed out (indicating thre is no end to what CF Does.

Then between the tags, find that page from Mike Nimer's? Presentation from years back that has the little clouds in it with every protocol, service, API and Stub you can think of in it (updated for today)

Comment 30 by Joshua Cyr posted on 6/30/2010 at 1:55 AM

<cfset cfunited = EntityLoad('me') />
<cfset cfunited.setLearning('100%') />
<cfset cfunited.setNetworking('True') />
<cfset cfunited.setFun('Always') />
<cfset EntitySave(cfunited) />

<cfset cfunited.setBeer('consumed') />

Comment 31 by Sid Wing posted on 6/30/2010 at 5:04 AM

<cfset CFUnited2010 = StructNew() />
<cfset CFUnited2010.track_CF = "Kewl" />
<cfset CFUnited2010.track_Flex = "Also Kewl" />
<cfset CFUnited2010.track_AIR = "Also Also Kewl" />
<cfset CFUnited2010.sciFi_BOF = "Rocks!" />
<cfset CFUnited2010.meAttending = "Awesome!" />
<cfset CFUnited2010.whereHeld = "The Lansdowne" />
<cfset CFUnited2010.startDate = "07/28/2010" />
<cfset CFUnited2010.endDate = "07/31/2010" />

Comment 32 by Sam Farmer posted on 6/30/2010 at 5:13 AM

I swear I thought of this one before Joshua Cyr posted his!

conference = entityNew( "Conference" );
conference.setName( "CFUnited" );
conference.setLearning( true );
conference.setNetworking( true );
conference.setFun( "Hell Yeah!" );
entitySave( conference );

Comment 33 by Brian FitzGerald posted on 6/30/2010 at 5:35 AM

<cfif event.conference eq "cfunited">
<cfset money = "well spent" />
<cfreturn tickets />

Comment 34 by Tim Cunningham posted on 6/30/2010 at 6:37 AM

<cfquery name="CFUnited2010">
FROM Knowledge

0 records returned

Comment 35 by Tim Cunningham posted on 6/30/2010 at 6:51 AM

A mock up of what the t-shirt would look like:

Comment 36 by Tim Cunningham posted on 6/30/2010 at 7:18 AM

Here is one that is more CFML general:

<cfquery datasource="CFML">
FROM CF, Others
WHERE Others.easy > CF.easy
OR Others.power > CF.power

0 records returned

Image of proposed t-shirt:

Comment 37 by Tim Cunningham posted on 6/30/2010 at 7:29 AM

I just realized I really need one more join in the above query to make it valid..

Too much <CF_ALE> oh well.

Comment 38 by Bob Bosron posted on 6/30/2010 at 4:39 PM

CFUnited 2010

Comment 39 by Chuck S posted on 6/30/2010 at 5:07 PM

Nice Jonah.

Comment 40 by Paul Denato posted on 6/30/2010 at 6:47 PM

<!--- lame code here --->

Comment 41 by Matt Tholey posted on 6/30/2010 at 7:12 PM

<!--- Set your awesomenesss --->
<cfset CFUNITED_2010="Awesome">
<!--- Check to see if your awesomeness matches that of CFUNITED --->
<cfif IsDefined("URL.CFUNITED_2010_Attendance")
AND CFUNITED_2010 IS URL.CFUNITED_2010_Attendance>
<!--- You are attending, Awesome! You Rock! --->
\m/ (>.<) \m/
<!--- You are not attending. Your loss! --->
.!. (0_0) .!.

Comment 42 by Kevin Schmidt posted on 6/30/2010 at 7:55 PM


Comment 43 by James Edmunds posted on 6/30/2010 at 8:13 PM


<cffinal />

Comment 44 by James Edmunds posted on 6/30/2010 at 8:14 PM

Or, alternately:


Comment 45 by Tim Leach posted on 6/30/2010 at 9:04 PM

Could do something simple like:

though, I see more people clinging to the fact CF is still alive, then claiming it was ever dead.
Or you could do something like:
displayname="CFUnited 2010"
hint="A ColdFusion, Flex & AIR Conference"
<cffunction name="Attend" returntype="Geek" access="public">


Comment 46 by Matthew Tholey posted on 6/30/2010 at 9:31 PM

<cfset CFUNITED_2010="Your Destination">

Comment 47 by Brian Fescoe posted on 6/30/2010 at 9:56 PM

<cfif lang eq 'PHP'>

Comment 48 by Craig posted on 6/30/2010 at 10:13 PM

Short for a shirt. Tried to make it legible. Correct any syntax:)

component hint="ColdFusion" {

public CFUnited function init (

Year = 2010,
Status = "Better than ever.",
Tags = Optional,
Speed = Fast,
Future = Strong
) }

Comment 49 by craig posted on 6/30/2010 at 10:14 PM

Darn image wrap!

Comment 50 by Mike Collins posted on 7/1/2010 at 1:06 AM

<cffunction name="CFUnited"
Hint="July 27-30 2010 Lansdowne VA">
<cfset GrandFinale(true)>
<cfreturn "Smarter" >

Comment 51 by Ryan Nowak posted on 7/1/2010 at 1:28 AM


Comment 52 by Vicky posted on 7/1/2010 at 2:58 PM

In light of this being the last CFUnited, and the fact that people who disappeared long before this want to convince people that this means ColdFusion is dead [again ho hum], I want a t-shirt that says

"WE are the new <cfdawn>!"

Comment 53 by Steve Withington posted on 7/2/2010 at 1:34 AM

while ( not isDead() ) { codeWithColdFusion(); };

Comment 54 by Corey Butler posted on 7/2/2010 at 1:37 AM

Since this is the last one, maybe just


Comment 55 by Daniel Fredericks posted on 7/2/2010 at 3:27 PM

"CFUnited is the premier ColdFusion specific conference"
-- 1999-2010 --

Comment 56 by Pete Freitag posted on 7/2/2010 at 7:03 PM

<cfinvokeargument name="ColdFusion" value="Rocks!" />

Comment 57 by Pete Freitag posted on 7/2/2010 at 7:05 PM

<cflocation url="" />

You should really addtoken="false" so you don't send your session id's but that might not be necessary for the tshirt ;-)

Comment 58 by Scott Wolf posted on 7/2/2010 at 7:14 PM

I know this won't win...but kinda had to do it...

<cfif findNoCase('', cgi.http_referer)>
<cflocation url="" addtoken="false" />
<cflocation url="" addtoken="false" />

Comment 59 by Scott Wolf posted on 7/2/2010 at 7:15 PM

Don't ask where that semicolon came from...I couldn't tell you.

Comment 60 by Susan Brun posted on 7/2/2010 at 11:40 PM

<cfunited 2010>
<cfset memories = "friends, laughing, learning, coding,
teaching, sharing, CF Never Ending" />
</cfunited 2010>

Comment 61 by James Edmunds posted on 7/3/2010 at 12:12 AM

<cfunited from="1999" to="2010" />

Comment 62 by Roger Austin posted on 7/3/2010 at 1:23 AM

I like #25 from Eric. Filed for future use.

Comment 63 by Raymond Camden posted on 7/3/2010 at 2:08 AM

And we have our winners. Remember this was purely my decision, and I'm sure folks will disagree. However, as this is a dictatorship, there isn't much you can do about it. ;)

So for 2nd and 3rd place, I pick both Ryan V and Zach B for their Rick Astley inspired submissions.

However - I could not pass up #28 from Matt G:

<cfexecute> or <cfabort>. There is no <cftry>.

Gigi had one similar - but I preferred Matt G.

So... that's our winner! Thank you everyone!

Comment 64 by James Edmunds posted on 7/3/2010 at 2:16 AM

Fun contest, thanks!!! And a good winner, congrats!

Comment 65 by Matthew Tholey posted on 7/3/2010 at 2:21 AM

Thank you Ray for offering the fun contest. Congratulations to Matt G and the other winners ;)

Comment 66 by Sid Wing posted on 7/3/2010 at 2:28 AM

LOL - it figures THAT one would be the one that appealed to you most, O CF JediMaster! Congrats to Matt and the other winners!

Comment 67 by Rachel Luxemburg posted on 7/3/2010 at 5:06 AM

I totally want that t-shirt.

Comment 68 by Ryan Vikander posted on 7/3/2010 at 7:31 AM

What does second place win? Maybe a copy of your CF anthology signed ;)

Comment 69 by Raymond Camden posted on 7/3/2010 at 5:01 PM

2nd and 3rd get 200 off the ticket price. You'd have to talk to Dinowitz to get a copy of the Anthology. :)

Comment 70 by Matt Gersting posted on 7/3/2010 at 11:26 PM

Thanks, Ray and everyone! I knew that t-shirt idea would come in handy one of these years!!

Comment 71 by Jason Durham posted on 7/7/2010 at 11:02 PM

It's a late entry...

<cfset />

Comment 72 by pbaylis posted on 7/8/2010 at 5:04 AM

<cf_uknighted> in 2010

King Arthur theme. "knighted" in italics to distinguish.
Perhaps include a pic of a shield with the ColdFusion bolt on it.

Comment 73 by Nick posted on 1/5/2011 at 10:23 PM

My toilet app:

(CF, the most intuitive language on the planet)