Does my mailbox need a stimulant?

This post is more than 2 years old.

Forgive the non-ColdFusion, non-Ajax, non-anything important post, but this was too funny to pass up. Today we had a little notice with our mail. Be sure to read the comments:

Wow. "Extremely annoying"? "Back injury"? Who knew the perils of a slightly leaning mailbox!

To be fair, the mailbox was put up by myself, and being a software guy, well, it isn't 100% straight:

I guess I have a job to do, eh? I'm thinking an elaborate system of pulley, counterweights, and perhaps anti-gravity devices. Too much?

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About Raymond Camden

Raymond is a senior developer evangelist for Adobe. He focuses on document services, JavaScript, and enterprise cat demos. If you like this article, please consider visiting my Amazon Wishlist or donating via PayPal to show your support. You can even buy me a coffee!

Lafayette, LA https://www.raymondcamden.com

Archived Comments

Comment 1 by John Whish posted on 7/21/2009 at 8:18 PM

Hope the postman didn't hurt their back putting the "postal regulation" note in your mailbox!

Comment 2 by Chad posted on 7/21/2009 at 8:28 PM

maybe some inpiration for your new mailbox can be found here:
http://uglymailbox.com/

Comment 3 by Seth posted on 7/21/2009 at 8:34 PM

While you're upgrading, I think you should put in a sensor to email you when the mail is delivered!

Comment 4 by Steve Caldwell posted on 7/21/2009 at 8:40 PM

I think you should install a vacuum tube system that delivers it into your kitchen like in that movie...darn I can't remember which one...Anyone?

Comment 5 by Daniel Budde posted on 7/21/2009 at 9:15 PM

I vote for a double door mail box. Make him have to open it twice. :)

Comment 6 by Shawn Holmes posted on 7/21/2009 at 9:26 PM

Better fix it! You never know, he could pull a scene from The Insider and leave a bullet in your mailbox!

Comment 7 by Sid Wing posted on 7/21/2009 at 9:27 PM

Wow! I meanthat's I one can really say to that - WOW!

Comment 8 by Will posted on 7/21/2009 at 9:28 PM

Your mailbox needs a mousetrap.

Comment 9 by mikeweezer posted on 7/21/2009 at 9:34 PM

my back hurts just looking at it... :)

Comment 10 by Robert Haddan posted on 7/21/2009 at 10:03 PM

Fill it with cement... it works on SO many levels!

Comment 11 by Josh Orvis posted on 7/21/2009 at 10:17 PM

Ray, that's very rude of you to have maliciously built such a dangerous postal receptacle.

You need something more like this: http://image03.webshots.com...

That would surely let the dear folks at the USPS know how much you appreciate their gentle reminder.

Comment 12 by Rudi posted on 7/21/2009 at 10:48 PM

You could install a spring on the door to make it snap shut. This way as his hand is in the mailbox, the door is already closing, and keeping the mail securely inside.

Comment 13 by Peter posted on 7/21/2009 at 10:51 PM

Tis a tad of the vertical and he would need to be 3ft tall to use it properly ;)

Think he's really moaning about all the star wars toys that need to be put in it!

Comment 14 by JC posted on 7/21/2009 at 11:47 PM

replace it with a bucket on a stick and a sign that says "my postman is too lazy to put mail in here, or to spell out "you are"

Comment 15 by JC posted on 7/21/2009 at 11:48 PM

oops. Make that "my postman can't spell 'your' or even use lazy aolspeek correctly"

Comment 16 by Barney posted on 7/22/2009 at 12:22 AM

Take it off, rotate it around until the door is upward, and screw the bottom of the box to the post. No chance of mail slipping out then, and you'll get your four inches of "up" for free. But then it'd probably be too far from the road. Nevermind.

Comment 17 by Joshua Rountree posted on 7/22/2009 at 12:36 AM

Okay Ray...

Seriously... do you live in The Shire with the hobbits? that is the shortest mailbox I've ever seen... needs more than 4 inches that's for sure... unless the mailman is a hobbit too...

:p

Comment 18 by Raymond Camden posted on 7/22/2009 at 12:40 AM

@all: Yes, I suck at hardware. :)

Comment 19 by Brian W. posted on 7/22/2009 at 2:38 AM

All you need to do is remove the door completely and add a CFCATCH bin below your mail box. That should solve the problem if there are any problems/errors putting mail into your mail box.

(couldn't resist)

Comment 20 by Tobias Dawes posted on 7/22/2009 at 5:24 AM

Darn those Postal Union workers (my father-in-law is a retired one!)

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds" but a low mailbox obviously does! lmfao!

Comment 21 by Lawrence posted on 7/22/2009 at 8:53 AM

Or, you can post your "Your Postman Needs Attention" Note at the mailbox:

1. Your postman is too tall by (at least) 4 inches
2. Your postman's mind needs to be leveled
3. Your postman's attitude needs attention
4. Fixing this mailbox requires too much of my precious time and can lead to hammer-and-splinter-induced injury.

Comment 22 by Laughing w/ You - Not at You posted on 7/22/2009 at 8:57 AM

Ha Ha

Just kidding... did we take care of the mailbox? You should raise it really high just to see what she says... once again ha ha. My step mother was a mail career and she would always complain... this brings back memories... once again ha ha.

Just Kidding

Ammahha Ahhahaha

Comment 23 by Sam posted on 7/22/2009 at 12:28 PM

Great suggestions folks... here's another.

Bolt a flatbed scanner facing downwards to the top of the maibox and connect it to your mac.

This way you can scan your mail to see if there is anything exciting in there worth collecting.

Boring old bills can always wait a while.

Comment 24 by Lola LB posted on 7/22/2009 at 2:51 PM

Get a wall mailbox, attach it to the wall next to your front door. Then your carrier will have to get his exercise walking up to the house to deliver the mail, which should strengthen his back!

Comment 25 by Jeff posted on 7/22/2009 at 5:02 PM

You should dig a rut in front of the mailbox that is about 4 inches deep right where the tire tracks are. That will take care of the height problem. Ok, so you lower the road instead of raise the box, but either way, it will work.

Next, you build a wedge that you can insert into your mailbox to make it level on the inside so it's not slipping out any longer.

:)

Comment 26 by Daniel Budde posted on 7/22/2009 at 5:19 PM

@Lola

I just bought a house with a mailbox attached next to the front door. The old one needed replacing as it was very rusted out and it is nice to have a mailbox next to the front door just as I walk in so I do not have to gather it from the end of the drive. 2 downsides here though.

1) This wall mailbox does not have any flag indicator to let the mailman know when we are sending mail. We've had to resort to leaving part of the envelopes hanging out of the box, which has been bad on rainy days where some birthday cards my wife sends get super soggy.

2) Brand new pretty mailbox + postal worker who doesn't care = lots of scratches all over my new pretty mailbox. I suspect he where's a really big metal watch.

Comment 27 by Steve posted on 7/22/2009 at 5:49 PM

When dealing with the USPS I like to think: "What would Lord Vader do?"