A new month, a new beginning...

This post is more than 2 years old.

Every day is a chance to start anew. Every day is a new beginning. While trite, the previous sayings are quite true, and on this first day of April I have decided to take them to heart. I have looked at my life and have come to the realization that I'm making some pretty big mistakes. These mistakes don't just impact me, but others. I have a small following here on this blog, and my other sites, and frankly, I worry I may have led folks astray. I must do something about it or I will never forgive myself. It is, as I said above, time to begin anew. It is time to get SERIOUS and stop joking around. With that in mind, I promise to...

1) Stop using silly variables in my code samples. What, pray tell is, the point of the variable below? You tell me:

<cfset parisHilton = createObject("component", "com.celebrities.trash")>

I mean serious, what do these two things have in common?

Let's be honest. I'm whoring my blog for Google AdSense. Does that help the community? No. From now on, I'll use serious variable names. All variable names will use East Hungarian Pre-WW1 Variable Name Scheme Rules (Rv. 2). Example:

<cfset -<x>-*y = "%third";+4!>

(By the way, that outputs "Hello World", but we all knew that, right?)

2) No more talking about Star Wars. Star Wars is for kids, not grown men. I'm clearing my room of all Star Wars toys and replacing them with copies of Ayn Rand books and tag posters. Also, in relation to rule #1 above, no more using Star Wars planets for code samples. It's stupid. I shall have this stupid thing lasered off my body at my earliest convenience. And as for ColdFusion Jedi? Seriously? How long have you guys been laughing at me. Am I four years old?

3) No more off topic posts. No one cares about Lost. It's a fad. It will soon go away like pet rocks and the cfinsert tag. No one cares what the Island is or what in the heck fhe four toe state means.

  1. No more "simple" posts. I tend to do posts that share simple tips, like how to handle interpolation in cfchart. While this may be useful to a few people here and there, it isn't serious. It doesn't reflect the real, day to day work most ColdFusion developers are doing. Most of all, it isn't Object Oriented. I don't know about you, but before my morning bowel movement I typically write a few delegates and at least one active record CFC. Why aren't I blogging about that more? OO is in everything I do, and from now on, every blog entry will deal with OO, and OO only. OO is for serious developers and I'm a serious developer darnit!

  1. A casual dress implies a casual mind. No more working in shorts and a tee shirt (with optional shoes). Today I begin my official, and daily, new dress code...

  1. And finally, no more going hyper over the 'lastest' cool thing. If you follow my Twitter and this blog, you know a typical day for me is something like this:

DUDE! I just found out about the cfoutput tag. It is AWESOME!!!!

WOOT! I tied my shoes while reading about jQuery! jQuery FTW!!!!!

OMG - Tomcat didn't build. WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!? I love Tomcat but it isn't perfect. IT SUXORS!

From now on, I promise to take a more slower, serious, and sensible approach about the things that interest me. For example, consider this pre-Serious Ray:

Dude! ColdFusion 9 is so FREAKING awesome. I can't say why, but it is. It's got more cowbell than a dairy farm!

And this is how I'll handle it now:

ColdFusion 9 will have a version number one higher than the previous version. At least according to my inside sources.

I hope my readers will agree. This new, more direct, Raymond, will be much better than the silly "ColdFusion Jedi Master" of the past. Welcome April. Welcome Full On Seriosity!

Raymond Camden's Picture

About Raymond Camden

Raymond is a senior developer evangelist for Adobe. He focuses on document services, JavaScript, and enterprise cat demos. If you like this article, please consider visiting my Amazon Wishlist or donating via PayPal to show your support. You can even buy me a coffee!

Lafayette, LA https://www.raymondcamden.com

Archived Comments

Comment 1 by Chris posted on 4/1/2009 at 5:49 PM

About time you slacker! You never help anyone out and you are all about yourself! :)

Comment 2 by Raymond Camden posted on 4/1/2009 at 5:50 PM

To be fair, it's all about the wishlist. I forgot to mention that. I'll be deleting my wishlist at my first opportunity. It is incredibly unprofessional of me to ask people to buy me toys and books! (Especially the Halo Wars game that is just sitting there... waiting... lonely....)

Comment 3 by Luke posted on 4/1/2009 at 5:53 PM

nice try jedi, nice try.

Comment 4 by Allan Jagos posted on 4/1/2009 at 5:56 PM

This is all good and well but please, please I need to know what the 4-toed statue means!!!

Comment 5 by Spock posted on 4/1/2009 at 6:08 PM

But we still get the mocking rants about Eclipse right? Twitter wouldn't be the same...

Comment 6 by Raymond Camden posted on 4/1/2009 at 6:10 PM

Eclipse is a serious programmers tool. I need to get over it and just deal with the fact that REAL programmers spend 99% of their time getting Eclipse to build their work and 1% actual coding. That's how real developers do it and that's how I plan on doing it.

Comment 7 by Craig Heneveld posted on 4/1/2009 at 6:12 PM


Comment 8 by Michael Markowski posted on 4/1/2009 at 6:12 PM

The Dark Side of you, this is. Do not give in to it, or forever will it control your destiny.

Comment 9 by Tami Burke posted on 4/1/2009 at 6:13 PM

Gee, that's too bad.. Does this mean, as CF Mentor, that we pleebs also must grow up? (sigh). I look disappointingly at my Mike Wasowski, Rodney CopperBottom, and Timmy The ThinkGeek Monkey on my shelf and wonder if I can bear to part with them. Especially since Mike Wasowski has a Jessica Rabbit figurine wedged in his arms.

Such a sad day. End of an era. End of fun and frivolity. I will go sit in the corner and suck my thumb.

Comment 10 by Steve posted on 4/1/2009 at 6:16 PM

I think if I was reading this on any other day besides April 1st, I'd take it a little more seriously. :-)

Comment 11 by Hal Helms posted on 4/1/2009 at 6:19 PM

Ray, I "get" it. At first, I thought, "WTF?" but then it clicked for me. You're right. Then I looked down at what I was wearing, comparing it with the Jedi Master -- whoops, I mean with Mr. Camden. I was a disgrace. No wonder my children refuse to acknowledge me as their father and mothers pull their children into their houses when I walk by.

That was it: my moment of epiphany. As I write this, I'm wearing my newly purchased tuxedo (although I *did* take off the cumberbund), and will hereafter adopt a British accent and start spelling things like "flavor" as "flavour".

Well, I hope that in addition to the OO tips (or, rather [pronounced "rahther"], oo.tips()), you'll include posts on how to fully adopt the new grown-up lifestyle. I'd give you a hug, but that's not grown-up. Instead, let me firmly shake your hand, look you in eye, and say, "Good work, Sport!"

Comment 12 by Lola LB posted on 4/1/2009 at 6:22 PM

Hmm . . . you almost look like Abraham Lincoln in that photo. Almost . .

Comment 13 by Steve B. posted on 4/1/2009 at 6:22 PM

Ray, this isn't the life you are looking for...

Comment 14 by John Gag posted on 4/1/2009 at 6:22 PM

This post has started my hump day perfectly and I am now your #1 fanboy!

Comment 15 by Luke posted on 4/1/2009 at 6:26 PM

@Steve B

that was the comment i was looking for.

Comment 16 by Raymond Camden posted on 4/1/2009 at 6:27 PM

@Hal: Perfect. I had forgot that all serious people speak with British accents. Madonna and the Empire (crap, another SW reference) can't be wrong. However, I believe you forgot one essential ingredient... the monocle.

Comment 17 by Donna French posted on 4/1/2009 at 6:27 PM

LMAO Mr. Camden

Comment 18 by Daniel Sellers posted on 4/1/2009 at 6:28 PM

Welcome to the world of mature programmers Mr. Camden. I suggest adding a fresh flower to your button hole and maybe a handkerchief in the pocket to finish out the new refined look...


Comment 19 by Luke posted on 4/1/2009 at 6:33 PM

i wonder if when a programmer reaches such maturity as Ray has they become an "old bean" (dear fellow). unlike mere mortals such as myself who are, i don't know, a recently initialised bean or something. hmmm, catchy.

Comment 20 by Edward Beckett posted on 4/1/2009 at 6:36 PM

This is the day that I have been waiting for ...

Ray, I am so proud that you have seen the power of the dark side ...

Vader ...

Comment 21 by Martin posted on 4/1/2009 at 6:40 PM

So now that you're all "grown up" does this mean that your going to stop asking for Star Wars toys in exchange for for web apps and start charging for them (just like you did last April 1st).
As powerful as "the force" is, I bet it doesn't feed the Korean army (oh my - what will Google adsense make of that?).

Ray you are funny :-)

Comment 22 by Dom posted on 4/1/2009 at 6:43 PM

LOL - completely taken in until you mentioned the "morning bowel movement" thing

I mean, as if ...

Comment 23 by Sid Wing posted on 4/1/2009 at 6:45 PM

@Daniel - And a pocket watch would complete that look...

Mr. Camden - I will follow the lead of the Jed... er ummm... mentor I have always believed you to be. From now on I will only be coding in a serious manner.

I have my shoebox and punchcards ready and am brushing back up on my COBOL coding routines

Comment 24 by Kyle posted on 4/1/2009 at 6:49 PM

Now, seriously, about the whole Jedi/Star Wars thing...

Comment 25 by Gary Gilbert posted on 4/1/2009 at 8:47 PM


do you also work neked?

Comment 26 by Aaron Greenlee posted on 4/1/2009 at 10:10 PM

Here’s a beter idea: Automatically generate your blog content based on e-mails you send to your 'CADIE' augmented 'Gmail' account. That’s way better than working in a suit.

Comment 27 by Matt Jones posted on 4/1/2009 at 10:35 PM

@Hal "No wonder my children refuse to acknowledge me as their father..."

You must remove their hand from their body, then they will realize it is true, and possibly even join you.

Comment 28 by Nafisa posted on 4/1/2009 at 10:58 PM

Might want to add to your list... You will also stop being a diva and quit asking for bowls Brown colored M&M's in your speaker room. :)

Comment 29 by Andy Sandefer posted on 4/2/2009 at 12:19 AM

That's a pretty good April Fool's Day joke but here's a better one...

"In three years TIME, Harvard Business Review, Scientific American, and Condé Nast Traveler will be replaced by Ulitzer."

I also heard through inside sources that CF9 will include a "ulitzer" scope for variables that change their attributes and values without notice.

Comment 30 by David McGuigan posted on 4/6/2009 at 9:41 AM

How dare you. And I mean HOW DARE YOU talk down to <cfinsert /> like that.

You talking down to Eclipse, however, made me laugh haughtily. Brav.

Comment 31 by Joseph Swenson posted on 4/30/2009 at 9:59 PM

Well played sir. Well played