Wow.. National Adoption Day is on my cousin's and I's birthdays.. and we're both adopted! How weird is that. :)

Anyways, I think it's great that people are adopting - there are so many kids out there that need good homes!

Wow...That is cool to know you adopted. My wife and I have been looking into adoption for a little over a year and are even going to an adoption fair in our state this weekend. So many directions you could go, how'd did you guys choose the right one for you?

That is a big question but I'll try to answer it here.

Whether you adopt locally or internationally - there are different things involved. If you choose to adopt internationally - then each country is different.

Some of the reasons we chose international adoption are:

No chance of a parent changing their mind. Personally I don't think that should be allowed. If a mother gives their child up - fine - but no second chances. It is cruel to the new parents and the child alike.

International adoption can be quicker then domestic. If you want a Caucasian baby, the wait is very long. My wife and I didn't care (obviously), but African American adoption is not recommended - which is sad. I'm not sure it is still the case now, but for a while, African American social workers only wanted African American parents to adopt. Frankly I think this is short sighted. Why deny a child a parent just because you can't match the race? But that's just me.

As for the country - SK has the longest history of international adoption. The program is VERY stable, compared to other programs.

Unfortunately my wife and I can't adopt again from SK. Why? SK doesn't mind. But Louisiana has a law that says you can only adopt 2 kids from SK. They don't care about any other country. Just SK. Why? Who knows. If we adopt again (not saying anything on that ;), it will most likely be China, another very stable program.

Ray,

Thanks for the insights. Just curious more than anything. Seems to be the question I ask people I know have adopted because it is what we are struggling with right now. We were looking very strongly into SK, but the program seems to have gotten harder than before, so we are looking at other routes. BTW, Thanks for all your hard work on your blog, I have gotten tons of good CF tips from it.

Do you mind if I ask, why did you choose adoption over having ones yourself? My wife has brought that up a few times (granted, we have 2 and she is pregnant now, so 3 is going to be a full house already), but I was wondering if you guys spoke about conceiving or adopting, reasons for or against.

I'd rather not go into that as it personal.

I just wish all of you could meet Ray and Jeanne's wonderful kids -- although I wouldn't want have to provide the hot dogs if you all came over at once!

And on the African American issue, I have a close Caucasian friend in another state who had been advised, don't adopt African American, was then on a long list, and decided, hey, we WILL adopt an African American kid, and once she became part of the family they wondered how anyone would have ever thought this wasn't a good idea. While I respect that adoption agencies want to be careful and do whatever can ensure the most successful matches, it may be that being the kind of person who has no problem with this pre-selects you as likely to provide the kind of environment where it is not, in fact, a problem.

Adoptees Deserve Their Original Birth Certificates
November is National Adoption Awareness Month. It is time for the right of adult adoptees to obtain access to their original birth certificates. It is unbelievable to me that adoptees remain children in the eyes of the law and the courts. Most of them grow to become of legal age, they can serve our country in the armed forces, they can vote, they can own property, they can drive. They marry, have children and grandchildren and yet, they cannot know their roots, or of those who gave them life. Medical history which would be invaluable to them and their descendants cannot be obtained.

This group of adults is owned by the courts and the legal system due to legislation that was enacted 72 years ago! It is clearly a denial of basic civil liberties when adoptees, having reached legal age, having discarded their training pants and the training wheels on their bicycles long ago are denied information about their beginnings and their medical background that rightfully should belong to all of us.

Today’s adoptees and birth parents struggle to connect to their unknown living ancestors. We are a great country; we recognize the value of freedom and the liberties of each individual and to that end, our presence is noted in many countries around the world. Adoptees and birth families alike, have served this country to preserve that right not only at home but aboard; they serve willingly and yet are denied the very basic and individual civil rights they defend. This must change!

I encourage you and the great state of New York to update this old fashioned system.. Constitutionally, we are guaranteed equality. At one time, women and slaves were excluded from constitutional guarantees; now adoptees and birth families are excluded.
Passage of the current Bills forever pending will allow adult adoptees, age eighteen or older, the right to their original Birth Certificate. We are asking for the same right that non-adopted persons take for granted. We aren’t getting any younger.

Please support NY Legislation Supporting Open Records in New York State Bill Numbers A2277 and S235. I urge you to write your legislative people and offer your support by going to this website: http://www.unsealedinitiati...

New York State currently has a registry that is available to Adoptees, Birthparents and Biological Siblings for those born and adopted in NYS. Forms are downloadable at: http://www.health.state.ny.... or

To request an application, write to:
Adoption Information Registry
New York State Department of Health
P.O. Box 2602
Albany, NY 12220-2602

**Please be certain to include your name, mailing address and the type of application you need (i.e., adoptee, birth parent or biological sibling).

@Holly,

That only pertains to adoptees that have birth certificates with their birth parents information. It's a great thought though, I think adoptees do deserve to get access to such papers if they exist.

Unfortunately for some (i.e. moi), there is no such paper that states who my birth parents are...

Amy - My records are sealed. THe registry pertains to all who are in the adoption triad - birth mother's, siblings and adoptees. I do not have my biological mother's or sibilings name either. You don't need a name to be in the registry. I'm not sure if you misunderstood me or me you.

Best Wishes,

My wife and I have been thinking about adoption. We are researching to see what the process is to adopt someone and how much it is going to cost. This article was super informative, thanks for all the info it was super helpful.

Thank you for sharing this, Emily.