So I'm not actually in a joking mood today. In fact, I'm in about as foul of a mood as I can be, but since I don't want to talk about it yet, I figure a distraction might be nice. A few days ago I was talking to a friend and shared what I thought was a pretty darn funny.
"You had me at ++"
So on reflection, it may not be as funny as I thought it was (aren't we all a lot more funnier in our own minds?), but can someone beat this? The rule is simple - it has to be one line (one phrase) and has to have some kind of geek reference to it.
Archived Comments
Funny, huh? How about:
"ColdFusion is a dead language."
There are 10 kinds of people in this world: Those who know binary and those who don't.
The box said Windows 98 or greater, so I installed Linux.
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code
"To err is human... to really foul up requires the root password."
As a vague follow on from the ++ comment - here's a link a colleague gave me the other day regarding C++
"I did it for you all..."
http://www.chunder.com/text...
I'm not creative enough to think of something on my own and I've never been good at following rules...so...it's not one line but I always got a kick out of Scott Barne's footer on his blog (http://www.mossyblog.com/):
"We own this crap (Any hacking, copying, spaming, etc will result in headbutts) All trademarks property of their owners. blah blah.. . We also reserve the right to use poor spelling, terrible gramma and at times are not required to make sense. We are NOT Macromedia worshipers, Scott Barnes is in fact a monkey at a keyboard...OooO.OoO.oo?
In the global village there's bound to be global village idiots.
Tis better to have debugged and lost, than never to have compiled at all.
The best accelerator available for a Mac is one that causes it to go at 9.81 m/s2.
I'm going for a cfdump...
...ah, that was a big cflog.
(Sorry to lower the tone, but there must be other CF'ers out there who've said that to their colleagues?)
In reply to yet another change request from the VP of sales, I said:
"I will always give you what you ask for, its just not usually what you want"
"Real Programmers don't document - it was hard to write; it should be hard to understand."
IDK RTFM ID10T
Hey Gary,
Please don't forget to CFFlush.
chown -R us ./base
It's a re-classic, but still funny.
Saw this in a tagline the other day -
With Windows you pay for the OS and get the T-shirts for free. With Linux, you get the OS for free and pay for the T-Shirts.
If sudo worked IRL: http://xkcd.com/149/
Dorothy as a tech geek - "There's no place like 127.0.01, There's no place like 127.0.01 ..."
-sh-3.00$ %blow
-sh: fg: %blow: no such job
@Tramaine - Dorthy v6:
"There's no place like ::1, There's no place like ::1..."
Or:
There's no place like ~
I've always been partial to...
"Two inventions came out of Berkeley: LSD and Unix. We don't believe this is a coincidence"
:)
This made me laugh the other day, and I've been wanting to share it with someone:
"The odds of finding truly beautiful code in most production systems seem to be on par with the odds of finding a well-read copy of IEEE Transactions on Software Engineering in Paris Hilton’s apartment. "
From http://beautifulcode.oreill...
Two .NET developers walk into a bar, the CFer ducks...
One of my favorites is:
Go Away or I will replace you with a very small shell script.
Jay
awk the sed up you mothergrepper
A geek and his hot girlfriend...
These aren't jokes per se...actually they are very serious quotes by some very short sighted executives. But very humorous to look back upon...
“Man will never reach the moon, regardless of all future scientific advances.” - Dr. Lee DeForest, Father of Radio & Grandfather of Television.
“The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives.” - Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project Manhattan
“There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom.” - Robert Millikan, Nobel Prize in Physics, 1923
“Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons.” - Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949
“I think there is a world market for maybe five computers .” - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
“I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won’t last out the year.” - The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957
“But what is it good for?” (commenting on the microchip). - Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968
“640K ought to be enough for anybody.” - Bill Gates, 1981
“This ‘telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us,” -Western Union internal memo, 1876
“The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?” in response to urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s. ” - David Sarnoff’ Associates
“The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C’, the idea must be feasible,” - A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith’s paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. Smith went on to found Federal Express.
“I’m just glad it will be Clark Gable who falls on his face, not Gary Cooper,” - Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in Gone With The Wind.
“A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make,” - Response to Debbi Fields’ idea of starting Mrs. Fields’ Cookies
“We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.” - Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962
“Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible,” - Lord Kelvin, president Royal Society, 1895
“If I had thought about it, I wouldn’t have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can’t do this.” - Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M “Post-It” Notepads.
“Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You’re crazy,” - Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil, 1859
“Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.” - Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929
“Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value,” - Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre, France
“Everything that can be invented has been invented.” - Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Office of Patents, 1899
“The super computer is technologically impossible. It would take all of the water that flows over Niagara Falls to cool the heat generated by the number of vacuum tubes required.” - Professor of Electrical Engineering, New York University
“I don’t know what use any one could find for a machine that would make copies of documents. It certainly couldn’t be a feasible business by itself. ” - the head of IBM, refusing to back the idea, forcing the inventor to found Xerox
“Louis Pasteur’s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.” - Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872
“The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon.” - Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873
And last but not least…
“There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.” - Ken Olson, president, chairman, founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
Interviewer asks on a phone interview: "What frameworks have you used?"
After a moments typing...
"Uh, I've used iframes before".
<beer>Happiness</beer>
<cfabort>
<cfcontinue>
I'm enjoying this!
(Are BlueDragon-only tags allowed?)
I'm working on my five year plan, I'm try to pick a font.
"Two inventions came out of Berkeley: LSD and Unix. We don't believe this is a coincidence"
LSD was discovered not invented - and it was so by Dr. Hoffmann in Basel, Switzerland.
cfprobe