Sad day for the sousaphone

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The Onion breaks the sad news - Activision Reports Sluggish Sales For Sousaphone Hero. This is especially sad to me as a former sousaphone player. You see - I was fat(er) as a kid, and for some reason, the fat kids played the tuba and the sousaphone. I actually got quite good at it - which considering it had 3 knobs (or whatever they were), thats not saying much. I have to say - I love the graph comparing Guitar Hero versus Sousaphone Hero:

All kidding aside - if this were a real game - I'm nerd enough to actually want to try it.

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About Raymond Camden

Raymond is a senior developer evangelist for Adobe. He focuses on document services, JavaScript, and enterprise cat demos. If you like this article, please consider visiting my Amazon Wishlist or donating via PayPal to show your support. You can even buy me a coffee!

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Archived Comments

Comment 1 by R. Large posted on 8/3/2007 at 7:50 AM

"and for some reason, the fat kids played the tuba and the sousaphone"

that's because the parents and music teachers were hoping that the sousaphone would somehow contain the expanding girth of the child, like a girdle...

... that and it was hillarious to watch all that body mass straining against the metalwork as the puffy cheeks worked their magic ...

Comment 2 by Martin Jones posted on 8/3/2007 at 6:56 PM

A dad signs his kid up for Sousaphone lessons.

After the first lesson the dad says to his kid, "How did it go?" The kid says,"Great, today I learned to play a 'c'."

The next day the father drops off his kid for another lesson and 1 hr later the kid returns, jubilant. "How was it son?" inquires the father. "Cool says the kid. Today I learned to play a 'g'."

On the third day the father drops his son off for another lesson BUT... after the alloted (1) hour.... no kid. 3hrs pass and still no sign of his son... and so it continues until 2am.

Wracked with worry, the father confronts the son and says, "What happened, where have you been?" and the son replies...

"It's OK dad, don't panic. I just had my first gig!"

Comment 3 by Scott Krebs posted on 8/3/2007 at 8:07 PM

+1 on buying/trying were it actually real!

My grandfather played the Sousaphone in the Baltimore Colts Marching Band back in the 50's and 60's. It was great fun playing around with the thing back in the day when we were over their house. I actually went on to play the sax instead, and true to your experience due to my size I got stuck playing the bari because I was the only one who could carry it or play it without it resting on the floor back in 8th grade. The sucky part was that I was also 1st alto, 1st chair and had to switch back and forth depending on the song. The director had the idea that the bari sax belonged with the bass clarinets in the center of the band, but the altos belonged out on one side. So, after almost every song, this 6'7" freak of a kid would have to get up and move about the stage; which at that age is at least a bit embarrassing.

Martin - love the joke!! That's a riot, having had to play the bass lines myself! ump-bump-ump-bump-ump-bump Thanks for the laugh!

Comment 4 by Larry C. Lyons posted on 8/3/2007 at 9:32 PM

Just wait until the next release of the series, Bagpipe Hero.