Twitter: raymondcamden


Address: Lafayette, LA, USA

Joining Apple as Developer Insight/Creative/Knowledge Evangelist

04-01-2011 4,274 views Misc 44 Comments

I'm proud to announce that as of today I will be joining Apple as an Evangelist, specifically in their Developer Insight/Creative/Knowledge department. This new department is focused on working with developers across a broad spectrum of products and knowledge areas. My focus will be on the iOS landscape and developer tools and technologies. I've long stated that that I've felt that iOS offers developers the most choice. From Objective-C to Objective-C, developers have a variety of ways to build compelling apps that allow you to direct avians towards suids. I plan on spending most of my time on Windows tools and the iOS platform which will additionally give me more time to pursue my hobbies as well.

This change in life may be drastic for some, but I assure you it's been in the works for some time. Once the ritual Steve Jobs tattoo has been attached to my body I'll be spending most of my time in the Louisiana Apple office next to Merlotte's. (I've been assured that the swamp has been drained and only a few alligators are left in the kitchen. Or as we call them - appetizers.)

As an example of what you can expect to see here - consider the following Hello Word example in Objective-C:

view plain print about
1#import <stdio.h>
2
3int main( int argc, const char *argv[] ) {
4 printf( "hello world\n" );
5 return 0;
6}

Pure simplicity. Now compare this to ColdFusion:

view plain print about
1Hello World

What? Seriously? That's a programing language? Not one include. Not one method with stars in front of it. Inconceivable. Real languages simply don't work that way. You just aren't winning unless your compiling and linking. You can quote me on that.

But I won't just be covering code. I'll also talk about how best developers can get their apps into the App Store. I'll divulge the hidden secrets to avoiding rejection and what to do we when decide your type of app is no longer desirable months after it was approved. (Hint - it was your fault - you just didn't know it.)

I for one will be happy to rid myself of all the pesky Android devices that began to clutter my home. I cannot tell you how much time I wasted configuring my devices to my liking when I simply should have trusted the designers at Apple to decide for me what is best. The relief I feel now that the weight of responsibility is off my shoulders is indescribable. I feel safe and warm within the arms of Apple UX - like a cookie in Cookie Monster's stomach. Excellent.

44 Comments

  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 6:41 AM
    oh noes ;-)
  • David Mineer #
    Commented on 04-01-2011 at 6:42 AM
    This is fantastic Ray, good luck.

    I was laughing so hard I clicked on the unsubscribe link instead of the link to the article. Crap. Had to resubscribe.

    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Funny what went through my mind in that brief moment before it dawned on me.
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 6:48 AM
    yeah Ray, That's like the snow storm (6") they forecasted for today. It just isn't happen'n.
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 6:59 AM
    Ray - me thinks you are the real fake Steve Jobs!
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 7:04 AM
    You freaking had me going for a second, Ray! Then I just realized what day it was!!!

    NICE ONE!!!!
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 7:11 AM
    Brilliant!
  • Ryan #
    Commented on 04-01-2011 at 7:25 AM
    I guess everyone has their price. :)
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 8:01 AM
    Wow, I thought I was the only one!! Welcome aboard!!!
    I am stiff trying to figure out the Hello World thing though.
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 8:04 AM
    @Ryan: Didn't the wishlist clue you in a LONG time ago? ;) My price is fairly low. :>
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 8:09 AM
    Very well played. It took me 2 paragraphs.
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 8:28 AM
    Shouldn't you update your wishlist to nothing but black turtlenecks?
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 8:29 AM
    Funny enough - I did take a picture with one last night, but it turned out pretty bad. I have a grand total of one turtleneck.
  • Jenni B. #
    Commented on 04-01-2011 at 8:37 AM
    While you're out there, could you get me a bottle of O positive?
  • Doug #
    Commented on 04-01-2011 at 8:42 AM
    Seeing as you are a ColdFusion Yoda of sorts, I was a bit shocked by the news. Reading this minutes after talking about April Fool's with my kids... I wonder now how I got suckered. Ah, the power you have over your Padawan learners.
  • Dale Severin #
    Commented on 04-01-2011 at 8:43 AM
    That was so funny. My side is in pain from laughing.
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 8:44 AM
    speaking of apple, are you going to get one of those iBrain implants? http://bit.ly/gptyer
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 8:48 AM
    Think you posted the wrong link there Paul.
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 8:51 AM
    Oh sorry - it was so serious looking I missed it. ;)
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 9:11 AM
    Ha ha ...

    Took me a minute to realize what day it is too ...

    rotflmao ...
  • Paul #
    Commented on 04-01-2011 at 9:25 AM
    LMAO! Good one!
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 10:13 AM
    apparently april fools' day caused velonews writers to lose their minds, pretty much everything they wrote today was like that ;-)
  • ColdFusion Guy #
    Commented on 04-01-2011 at 10:24 AM
    First Hal Helms "quits" ColdFusion and kicks it in the teeth 35 times and comes back every time afterwards and now this! If it weren't April 1st I'd be hacking your site right now.
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 10:25 AM
    Nice True Blood reference. ;)
  • Apple Fan #
    Commented on 04-01-2011 at 10:30 AM
    Hahaha great April Fools joke. Too bad about the tongue in cheek slams on Objective C though. It is a thoroughly Object Oriented language and the iOS API is pretty awesome. Something tells me you think ColdFusion is better! LOL ;) Anyway hilarious joke but not very close to believable LOL!
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 10:33 AM
    @AppleFan: I won't deny I love CF, but yeah, the slam on objectIveC was 100% a joke. I know it's a decent language. My only real experience with C was with LPC, a variant used in MUD games. In fact, some of the code I'm most proud of was built for a mud.
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 10:40 AM
    I dunno, Ray. There's something about the acronym of your new title...
  • Apple Fan #
    Commented on 04-01-2011 at 10:41 AM
    "From Objective-C to Objective-C, developers have a variety..."

    LOL hilarious! Of course all software API's should offer up gateways for other languages, like ColdFusion! Haha good call. Yeah total quality control that way. Seriously one of the funniest April Fools jokes ever, hands down! Knowledge Evangelist! Man I totally dig your humor lololol!!!
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 10:41 AM
    I have to say - I'm a bit disappointed it took 26 comments for someone to get that. You win Hal. ;) Unfortunately I spent all the prize money on iDevices so the best I can offer is an iPod USB charging cable. Congrats!
  • Apple Fan #
    Commented on 04-01-2011 at 10:42 AM
    Whoa a zinger from Helms!!!
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 11:58 AM
    Well played, Sir.
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 12:14 PM
    Back to the BASICs

    10 INPUT "What is your name: ", U$
    20 PRINT "Hello "; U$
    30 INPUT "Do you want to work at Apple? ", N
    40 IF A$ = "Y" OR A$ = "y" THEN GOTO 50
    50 INPUT "Are you sure you want to work at Apple? ", N
    60 IF A$ = "Y" OR A$ = "y" THEN GOTO 50
    70 PRINT "Smart move "; U$
    80 END


    OUTPUT:

    What is your name: (Ray Camden)
    Hello Ray Camden
    Do you want to work at Apple? (Yes)
    Are you sure you want to work at Apple? (Yes)
    Are you sure you want to work at Apple? (Yes)
    Are you sure you want to work at Apple? (Yes)
    Are you sure you want to work at Apple? (No)
    Smart move Ray Camden
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 12:17 PM
    My first coding was in BASIC - Applesoft BASIC actually. :)
  • Pablo #
    Commented on 04-01-2011 at 12:27 PM
    Is the Steve Jobs tattoo "safe for work"?
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 12:34 PM
    If by work you mean dock worker, sure.
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 1:44 PM
    Hey Ray, congratulations

    Sometimes this kind of drastic change in life will help you to learn a lot new thinks.

    Again congratulations.

    Good Luck, I will continue follow your Blog!!!
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 1:47 PM
    Um, it may be a language thing, but just so you know, this is a April Fools joke, Alirio. :)
  • David McGuigan #
    Commented on 04-01-2011 at 1:57 PM
    Nice.
  • B-Rad Newman #
    Commented on 04-01-2011 at 2:30 PM
    Holy Crap, you got me!
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 2:51 PM
    ROFLMAO. You had me going right up until the CF comparison... <cf_headslap>.

    Nicely done!
  • MikeG #
    Commented on 04-01-2011 at 2:55 PM
    Hey Ray, are they going to be giving you one of these during orientation?

    http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/looflirpa/e8bb/...20110401AppleStore1
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 2:58 PM
    I wish. ;) I need a new Lego project. I've got a Death Star in a box (gift from a reader), but want to work on something a bit smaller.
  • MikeG #
    Commented on 04-01-2011 at 3:02 PM
    Watch the video on the bottom of the page, I don't think you are their demographic <grin>
  • Commented on 04-01-2011 at 3:38 PM
    :) .
  • Commented on 04-04-2011 at 3:20 AM
    Ray,
    shocked man!
    (unfortunately checking this blog today)
    Ray, Bennadel, Benforta....roll models in ColdFusion.

    Thanks, Raghuram Reddy Gottimukkula

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